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Our Personal Blindspots: A Source of Healing

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inquiry & integration

inquiry instructions

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Inquiry:  Scan your life and ask,  when I am emotionally upset, how often do I make the other responsible?

Personal Integration:  This practice can be done alone or with a friend, lover, or counselor. Take one to five minutes or longer to contemplate and answer the question. When done with another, it is essential that the listener remains neutral and encourages you by repeating this inquiry as needed to help maintain focus.  

If we look closely we will see that most of the time when we react emotionally we automatically feel like it was caused by something that happens in the outside world.   It might be a person or a circumstance.  On the surface of course this is most often the case.  However, what we are being asked to look at is taking responsibility for our tendency to stay immersed in the emotional state and act it out.  By seeing that not only do we have an initial reaction, but it is really a chain reaction where we can carry these emotions for minutes, hours, or even days or weeks.  When this occurs (other than truly catastrophic events) it is a sign that we have other past injuries that make our reactions more severe.  it might be with the same person or circumstance, but either way, if we want to pursue a greater capacity for inner peace we need to be able first tosee how much we make the outside world dominantly responsible for our emotions.

Inquiry 2:  What are your most common rationalizations in the way you make the other person responsible for your emotional reaction?

Personal Integration 2:  Follow the same instructions as above in a monologue or repeating question format.  Whenever we make others responsible for our enduring emotional reactions we are inevitably carrying an ongoing rationalization as to why.  We will usually experience this as a rationale, but herein lies the source of long term suffering.  Others may trigger a reaction, but if we look closely, we have the capacity to find other resources inside ourselves to not be out of control in this way.   One of the major keys to this is finding and letting go of the rationalization, and instead recognizing that we want to center ourselves. You don't want to make anything outside yourself responsible for my well being.  

Inquiry 3:  How could you best guide yourself to be accountable for your own emotional state?

Personal Integration 3:  Follow the same instructions as above in the monologue or repeating question format.  Ask yourself what is the best way that I center myself and can be guided to my heart.  Almost all of us have a way of doing this.  Some of the practices include finding your own wisdom, inquiry, prayer, or meditation.   Let yourself visualize the last time you were most upset and enter into your chosen practice that will most likely help you find greater peace and equilibrium.   Continue in this interplay between your reaction and your best practice as this is a good exercise to implement in your daily life.   The good news is that life will bring you many opportunities, and this practice can be done live whenever you are aware.





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Since 1972, Humanistic Spirituality founder Robert Strock has maintained a private spiritual and therapeutic counseling practice that specializes in purposeful living, relationships, spiritual psychology, and death and dying counseling. Humanistic Spirituality provides various spiritual workshops, guided mediations, and licensed marriage family therapists and licensed social work continuing education courses. Contact us to learn how we can help you find inner peace and spiritual awareness through our counseling, or our free guided meditations, videos, audios, writings, introspective guises and more. A warm welcome from the team at Humanistic Spirituality.

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