Inquiry: What are the potential benefits or purpose of going into my disappointments?
Personal Integration: This practice can be done alone or with a friend, lover, or counselor. Take one to five minutes or longer to contemplate and answer the question. When done with another, it is essential that the listener remains neutral and encourages you by repeating this inquiry as needed to help maintain focus.
On an intellectual level it often will seem confusing or masochistic to choose to go into our disappointments, however can you see the potential of it leading to a place inside your heart? This questioning gives you a chance to understand the paradox of seeking to experience something that on one level feels bad, but on another level is a pointer to what can be the most essential part of our lives. As you ask this question look at the underlying needs and qualities that our disappointments reveal. (refer to the Introspective Guides on Feelings and Needs)
Inquiry 2: What is the greatest disappointment currently in my life?
Personal Integration 2: Follow the same instructions as above in the monologue or repeating question format. Have the courage to really look in a stable way for this place inside you that is frequently hidden. It can be threatening to face our disappointment, but see if you can give yourself the benefit of the doubt that you will be able to not just stay stuck in a state of loss. Open your heart and feel where disappointment lives in your body and soul. Let yourself trust the paradox that by feeling your disappointment you can find the source of your deepest needs and begin to take care of them.
Inquiry 3: How would I best take care of myself as I look deeply into my disappointments?
Personal Integration 3: Follow the same instructions as above in the monologue or repeating question format. This is the natural question that arises as we go deeply into our disappointment. We find where we are hurting, and the inquiry allows us to access the healing qualities of heart. See if you can enjoy this contemplation as it is opening the door for your deepest wisdom, courage and intelligence to appear. It is such a good combination of feeling our disappointment, and letting it lead to a part of us that wants to take care of ourselves at the deepest level. As you ask this question see if this makes sense to you.
Inquiry 4: Regarding my greatest disappointment, “How much do I need to accept what I can’t change, and how much do I need to dedicate myself to what I can change?
Personal Integration 4: Follow the same instructions as above in the monologue or repeating question format. This is the key question that we need to ask ourselves as we delve deeply into our disappointments. We see that there are many things that we want to change that aren’t possible. There is then a wisdom that is calling us towards acceptance. Then there are those places that require great discipline, honesty, intelligence, and for a possibility of change. Here we need to dig deep inside ourselves to find the motivation and courage to go for what is possible. Have the courage and wisdom to ask this question with integrity, awareness, and strength.
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Chogyam Trungpa...March Directly Into Disappointment
Learning that deeply experiencing disappointment with awareness is a way of understanding what we most need and how to support our well being.
Since 1972, Humanistic Spirituality founder Robert Strock has maintained a private spiritual and therapeutic counseling practice that specializes in purposeful living, relationships, spiritual psychology, and death and dying counseling. Humanistic Spirituality provides various spiritual workshops, guided mediations, and licensed marriage family therapists and licensed social work continuing education courses. Contact us to learn how we can help you find inner peace and spiritual awareness through our counseling, or our free guided meditations, videos, audios, writings, introspective guises and more. A warm welcome from the team at Humanistic Spirituality.