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Seven Keys to Seeing Aggression


These keys are perhaps the most important tools of all when you are stuck in your aggression. Rather than staying stuck, you have a number of options to open your heart and lessen and loosen the grip of undesirable aggression. We would encourage you to return to them whenever you are struggling with this issue.

1. Shift your focus. If you are accustomed to justifying aggression by making it someone else’s fault, take a moment to be interested in feelings underneath.

2. Spend some time sincerely looking for these feelings with no judgments or criticism. The sincerity alone will start the shift.

3. Sense the vulnerable feelings just beneath the anger. Even if you can’t do this, continue to try.

4. When you are describing past aggression, notice how you feel in the present time, see what you feel, such as shame, embarrassment, sadness or sorrow. Awareness of these feelings will begin to change your experience, especially when you let them be more central.

5. Ask yourself how you would like to feel or what you need. Notice if you prefer feelings such as sorrow, empathy or forgiveness.

6. Ask yourself to focus on the specific heartfelt quality that you need; tenderness, tolerance, patience, perhaps.

7. Acknowledge that you’re angry, and recognize that you do not want to create harm.

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Since 1972, Humanistic Spirituality founder Robert Strock has maintained a private spiritual and therapeutic counseling practice that specializes in purposeful living, relationships, spiritual psychology, and death and dying counseling. Humanistic Spirituality provides various spiritual workshops, guided mediations, and licensed marriage family therapists and licensed social work continuing education courses. Contact us to learn how we can help you find inner peace and spiritual awareness through our counseling, or our free guided meditations, videos, audios, writings, introspective guises and more. A warm welcome from the team at Humanistic Spirituality.

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