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Developing Loving Curiosity

inquiry & integration

inquiry instructions

Inquiry 1:
What feeling and need do you most want your partner to hear and understand more deeply about you? After the exercise is complete you will ask your partner the same questions.

Personal Integration 1: Beginning Communication
Ask your partner if they are open to taking 5-10 minutes to listen to you as you express what you most feel and need, without any interruption. Ask them to stay soft and say things like, "Tell me more" or "I'd love to hear what you mean by that." This requires empathy, humility, and setting their own needs aside. Thank them for listening compassionately.

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	Developing Loving Curiosity <p> <b><b>Inquiry 1:</b></b><br /> What feeling and need do you most want your partner to hear and understand more deeply about you? After the exercise is complete you will ask your partner the same questions.</p><div> <b>Personal Integration 1: </b><strong>Beginning Communication</strong><br /> Ask your partner if they are open to taking 5-10 minutes to listen to you as you express what you most feel and need, without any interruption. Ask them to stay soft and say things like, "Tell me more" or "I'd love to hear what you mean by that." This requires empathy, humility, and setting their own needs aside. Thank them for listening compassionately.</div><div> </div><div> <b>Personal Integration 2: Deepening Communication </b></div><div> After you have expressed your feelings and needs, your partner mirrors what they have heard. If you feel they’ve missed anything, with as much kindness as possible, let them know what you’d like them to better understand. Ask them again, to repeat the meaning of your words until you feel fully heard. Thank them for reflecting back an understanding of your feelings and needs.</div><div> </div><div> <b>Personal Integration 3 Cultivating Empathy</b></div><div> Ask your partner if they can express any empathy for what you are saying. It’s important for them to understand that this is not a time for them to express any of their perceptions, that you are the center of this conversation for now. If they can’t find any empathy, it is helpful to recognize that they likely have differing views that are blocking their capacity to feel for you. If you can, thank them for trying and remain as appreciative as possible. </div><div> </div><div> Now give your partner the opportunity to follow the same exercise in reverse. Recognize this is a very difficult thing to do in relationship, and that it will likely take several tries, months or even years to really develop empathy. Congratulate yourself for trying. Recognize this is developing TRUE loving curiosity, and maturity in communication.</div><div> </div> http://humanisticspirituality.org/?page=view&id=1&kind=Videos&topic=love+relationships+%26+sexuality

title

Developing Loving Curiosity

description

learning how to develop a loving intimate relationship by sustaining a loving curiosity with each other

keywords

challenging emotions love relationship partnering presence constancy helping an angry spouse withdrawn lover resolving conflict intimate life spirituality loving your partner cultivating love in relationship.

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