Inquiry: What are the anger related feelings that are most significant in my life?
Personal Integration: This practice can be done alone or with a friend, lover, or counselor. Take one to five minutes or longer to contemplate and answer the question. When done with another, it is essential that the listener remains neutral and encourages you by repeating this inquiry as needed to help maintain focus. Let yourself remember and focus on the moments where you have been most triggered, focusing on the ones that are most likely to continue. Really let yourself be as loose as possible in expressing and even exaggerating the aggressive feelings. Recognize that this structure is built to create safety and harmlessness so the more you can experience the fullness of your anger the greater chance that you can ultimately see it clearly and learn how to transform it.
Inquiry 2: What would it feel like to express angry feelings, and at the same time put your hand on your heart and infuse yourself with tenderness?
Personal Integration 2: Follow the same instructions as above in the monologue or repeating question format. Let yourself continue to express your anger (and related feelings) and also attune your awareness to include tenderness to remind you that your anger is connected to something that your heart needs underneath. containing your expression of anger by expressing it internally makes it less harmful. Your inner dialogue may sound something like “I hate that you treat me like… and I’m so sorry that this is painful for you” or “I am really outraged that you said… and saying gently to yourself ”take a deep breath and soften your heart and belly as much as you can.”This kind of integration of the most exaggerated feelings of anger and a tender appreciation of harmless expression is a combination that fosters great healing. May you have the courage and wisdom to find an environment that is safe where you can mix this anger and kindness toward yourself.
Inquiry 3; (Let yourself experience by asking the question)“What would it feel like to be the anger, impatience, frustration, giving up your story to support feeling,contracting your muscles, or simple irrationality letting the et anger be released harmlessly through your body??
Personal Integration 3: Follow the same instructions as above in the monologue or repeating question format. With as much spontaneity as possible, let yourself be the anger. Feel the energy as a sense of aliveness and passion that is primal so much so that you might even forget what you’re angry at. This is allowing you to not only be angry about a specific situation, but also activate the angry feelings that may be stored in the subconscious that often get attached to any situational anger. When you can release some of the historic, built up anger, it liberates you more clearly see what you ultimately need in the present situation
Inquiry 4: Let yourself ask… What are the needs I have that are underneath this anger? refer to Introspective Guides
Personal Integration 4: Follow the same instructions as above in the monologue or repeating question format Visualize yourself in the situations that have led to your angry feelings and reflect, in simple terms, on what is it that you really need? Be childlike, as it can help us more easily see the basic needs that we have. Remember that it is an act of peace to realize and express what you need, rather than focusing primal energy on what you don’t like. Appreciate that you are learning the art of transforming anger into peace, intimacy, and strength.
Inquiry 5: Let yourself explore how much can you really feel personal motivation to transform your anger into peace? (recognize that this is not as simple a question as it sounds)
Personal Integration 5: Follow the same instructions as above in the monologue or repeating question format. Most of us are very attached to holding onto our own forms of anger, frustration, impatience, etc. As you speak out loud be honest about how attached you are to staying angry or feeling wronged, victimized, or violated, vs. how much you are ready to make the major transformational shift to ask for and seek what you really need that’s underneath (again it is important to refer to the Introspective Guide). If you find that you aren’t ready to let go of your anger, then recognize that you need to continue to go through the first couple of inquiries in this practice again and again. This is true for most of us as it is hard not to stay fixated on life long patterns. This is a great realization, and no matter where you find yourself the key realization is to be honest where you are in each aspect of discovery of your own anger and related feelings.
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